Life, post the thing that shan't be named

The first maid we've ever had left us. It was simple...she just never came back on her off day. She smsed me to say that she did not want to work with us anymore and that was that. Lodged a police report the following day and cancelled her visa. I have a very strong feeling that she's with her boyfriend. That thing had wanted to leave us 3 weeks into her job, so i guess keeping her for 7 or 8 months was a real feat.

The girls at the restaurant told us that they saw her pack a big red backpack and she left dressed really nicely. That red backpack was given by my mother btw. That thing told my mum that her son needed a school bag, and my wonderful mother gave her one to kirim. Luckily my mum didnt give more stuff, though she had every intention to. Anyway, we're a little numb and disappointed, cos we had never believed in maids before. I guess the biggest damper is that it turns out that she's a big fat liar, but i guess that isnt uncommon. I dont wish her well at all for lying to us and coming to Malaysia never intending to work as a maid for long. I hope she gets what she deserves for everything that she has put my family through.

We've come out wiser from this experience though: Maids do not deserve a 2nd chance. That's what we gave her, and instead of sending her packing back home earlier in the year, we've just added another illegal to the msian population, and we've reunited lovers (bless us). They are guilty until proven innocent, and even if they're butt ugly, it doesnt mean that they cannot have handsome boyfriends. Oh, and the next maid, if there will be one, can sleep on my washing machine, HK style (so i heard). Malaysian hospitality towards maids is just too much...her own room, cabinet, bed? tsk...

Anyway, anyway, post her has been bitter sweet. It is wonderful to have full control of your own home and kids. Bloody hell, with her around i had to turn a blind eye to so many things so that she could focus on the baby. It's really hard work this, and it doesnt help that i have a husband who is a slave to his job. Im managing on my own with my pillars of strength, my parents. My mother is the thickest pillar of all cos she's the one who's been supportive of our stand not to get a maid for the time being.

Her room's been converted to the playroom and the kids absolutely love it! We have all their toys there and there's a table and stools so that ciku can do her arts & crafts. The downside to not having an extra hand is that those involved in managing the home are exhausted. Hubby dearest worked through the long weekend recently and i swear that i havent recovered from it yet! A baby and a toddler to manage on your own from morning to night drains one's energy. Im so tired i cant talk straight when im home. Literally. I stutter and grapple with words. i need my zzzzzzzzzzzzzs.

So that's it. Im still angry about that woman for being 2-faced, for trusting her, for letting her stay. If i could do it all over again, i'd have chucked her a boat at week 3, but what happened instead? I cried my eyes out at the thought of being evil and doing such a thing to her. Blergh! I hope you're in pain woman.

The story of Norma, Talib & Rafiq

I came across this blog last night and cried! It's a lady's account of her sister-in-law's battle with cancer. From what i gather, Norma had headaches when she was 7 months pregnant, after she had the baby (close to her 1st wedding anniversary), tests were done which indicated that she had a tumour in her head/brain. She's in stage 4 of her cancer and has undergone numerous operations.

It saddens me that Norma's battling for her life while her baby's just starting his. There's so much both of them are missing out on each other. I pray to God that Norma will come out of this to see her baby grow up, and I pray that Talib stays strong throughout this ordeal. The pictures in the blog speak volumes....sniff.

To those that want to help, donations can be made to Norma's sister-in-law's bank account:

cimb


01070068677528


Noormawati Mohd Rasif

http://miera301.blogspot.com/2011/07/update-norma.html

The photos are courtesy of Moon and her blog as above.

Time off with the kiddies

This week, i had to take 2 days off cos my parents went outstation. I also came down with a cold, so added an extra day to the time off. The 3 days i had with my kids were absolutely precious. Instead of doing my usual thing where i'd dash off to run errands or window shop with the cikster, i was at home the whole day and i got to know Noah better.

Noah's 9 1/2 months old now. His milestones:

• Sit unaided.
• Crawl (though i still keep an eye on him cos he isnt too smooth at it)
• Sit up from a crawling position.
• Pull himself up in cot.
• Glide.
• Say 'mama' or 'mam mama'.

He's also shown signs of knowing how to get off high places. He turns his butt so that his legs go down first (all this done with my lightly holding him). He's also going through a phase where he wants his mummy over anyone else and im loving it!!! There's nothing like knowing that eventhough bibik takes care of him during the day, that he knows that his heart should be with his mummy. When i do grab him off bibik, he'll lean on me and pat my arm! What's there not to love about this boy? He's also little mister adventure and knocked his head like 3 times in one day. The worst one being under my care and he swung his head into a wall cos he lost his grip on the grill :( The whack sound was terrible and his cry was heart breaking. Luckily he seemed fine...there was no bruising or swelling. Alhamdulillah.

As for my dear bff ciku, we had lunch together at an organic restaurant. I love going out with her cos she's always so well behaved. She dressed prettily that day, even wore a handbag in which she put her little strawberry shortcake. At the restaurant we bumped into uncle pat, aunty jude, aunty angie and their mother.

Inspite of Ciku being my bestie, she tends to feel insecure about her brother. Sometimes she regresses and puts things in her mouth, or runs to me and says, "mummy, i love you very mutts!" I wish there was some way that i could reassure her that i love her to bits, and she's my first born. I hope her insecurities will subside some. I do, however, remember what life was like for me, being the ugly sister to a very cute and handsome brother. Everyone loved him and ignored me. I had issues with that for sure, but overcame them over time.

Ciku turned 3!

My little princess turned 3 recently and boy, was she showered with some amazing gifts! Mummy was as excited as she was to see all the fantastic girly stuff! We had a really simple do for her cos that's all mummy could manage. I wanted to be able to sit down and enjoy in the fun, so i hope the simplicity of the event was ok by everyone.

She also celebrated her birthday at playgroup. It was the first birthday for her amongst her peers, and she was so excited to share her cake with everyone. It was absolutely precious to have been present. I didnt want to get a fancy cake cos i didnt want it melting whilst waiting for break time, so got her a basic banana cake and my favourite apple and raisin. It turns out that little kids dont care what kinda cake they're getting, they get excited by anything that has a candle stuck into it!!!

Since Ciku turned 3 it's as if the big girl button got turned on. Suddenly she has complicated thoughts which she articulates, like since when was she bothered by leg hair???

The little guy's 26wk update

The little man's just 6 1/2 months old but in his short lifetime, he's been fallen sick soooo many times, im starting to lose track of everything that he's had! Shortly after the last entry, he had rozeola, then most recently, and scariest of all, he had bouts of vomitting which cause him to lose 200g in weight in just 3 1/2 hours!!

He had another spell of vomiting on Sunday and i suspect that his rice meal was contaminated. He's going to get 7 days rest from food and will only be on breast milk for now. It's not a good time to be dependent on my girls...im stressing out from a host of things to do for work and the ladies arent cooperating very well.

Other than that, my kids are my life. I love them to bits!! I hope that i'll raise them well enough to appreciate their mummy and all the sacrifices that she made for their well being. I sorta doubt it's going to happen though, cos i still take it for granted that MY mummy's going to do everything for me. Ergh. Im just glad that God knows the value of mothers...at least someone does, kan?

Ciku's growing up so fast...i just hate missing out on all the things she says and does. I talk to her like she's a little person and thats cool cos it's like having a little friend. A little friend who loves the Betty Boo shoes i got for her recently :) I cant wait for Noah to get big enough to sit up and run around, but as Opa says, dont wish for it too much cos he's going to run around and we'll be running around after him!

Im truly blessed to have my little family. I wish daddy was around more, but im counting all my blessings.

Peanut - 16 weeks old

Gosh, i cant believe Peanut's only 16 weeks old!! He was weighed today and comes in at 6.6kg. His milestones:

• Can turn on his side


• Laughs when being tickled or people make funny sounds and faces


• Tries to hold feeding bottle


• Notices his feet and hands


• Recognizes loved ones, including his sister (oh, he stops crying when he hears his sister babbling).

Life at home is still chaotic. Big sis is still having issues with sharing her toys with brother, and is prone to whining and crying to get attention. Right now both the kids have a cough and a running nose thanks to ciku. I decided to take the baby to the clinic today and told ciku about it. The idea was to drop ciku off at Oma & Opa's and then to take Oma with me to clinic. I forgot to tell ciku the plan, so when we drive into O & O's neighbourhood, she asks:

ciku: Where are we going, mummy?

me: Oma and Opa's house.

ciku: i thought we are going to see Dr Lam at clinic?

me: stunned.

Like, since when can she say stuff like, "I thought"????

I have a lovely tooth ache. I hope my maid hasnt cursed me since i confiscated her supposed meds for tooth ache (found it hidden in her undies). Well, she doesnt know i took it...sigh!

Peanut - 12wks

Little Peanut hasnt quite mastered a laugh, bt it's really cute to see him laugh when he doesnt even know what he's doing. He's starting to hold his head up better too. He's a charmer though, he smiles at anyone who talks to him! By the end of the week we'll find out how much he weighs. I cant wait!

Ciku's progress? She can amuse herself by playing on her own. Her favourite line to her toys: "what your name?"

Updates on Peanut & Ciku

Lack of sleep, caring for a baby and toddler and unreliable broadband connection makes it really hard for me to update my blog. Most times im so tired that i cant even string a sentence together much to the annoyance of my husband.

Anyhow, i dont want my children's milestones to slip by without me jotting them down, so here they go:

Ciku and potty training has been going very very well. She goes without a diaper during the day, alerts us whenever she needs to go to the loo. There have been accidents, bt very minor ones. Im glad that we werent in a rush to start it, cos it makes such a difference to train a toddler when they're ready.

Peanut's been driving me less crazy, bt he can still go hours without sleeping during the day. The wonderful thing is that he loves to chat, smile and coo. Sometimes he'd be mid-way in a feed and he'll look at me and he'll catch my eye and start a conversation. His utter adorableness rejuvenates my weary body!

Ciku loves Peanut still, kissing his hand, head, face; giving him a squeeze here and there whenever she feels like it. Besides dropping a figurine on his face many weeks ago, the worst thing that she's done, in my opinion was to use her thumb to press down on his fontanelle (soft spot on skull)!!! I was screaming cos that to me is the scariest place on a baby. You can see it throbbing with each heartbeat and i keep imagining that Indiana Jones movie, Temple of Doom, i think, where he was served up monkey heads (the top portion being cut open and brain exposed). Major yucks!

It's 5pm and i need to squeeze in a nap before peanut gets up from his. Hope to blog again soon!

Peanut - 7+wks

4.3kg (as of a wk ago)
Loves to use his mother as a pacifier and can scream for hours when not appeased. This morning he cried from 2.30-5.30am! Im so tired! I hope to find a pacifier that he'll take to. Please wish me luck!

Peanut's 4 weeks old

Peanut's reached his fourth week of life and is starting to fill out nicely. He's no longer the little tiny bag of bones, he, in fact, has a double chin! Seeing him grow on breast milk really does make all the sleepless nights worthwhile. I think of BM as being the building blocks of his whole being.

He's no longer the baby that sleeps hours on end, no siree bob! He wakes up every 2 hours and sometimes 1 1/2 hours demanding a feed. However, he's developed a peculiarity whereby he demands a milkless breast to suckle on before gng to sleep. When none can be had, he'll cry like he's being tortured. Last night he was at it from 9pm - 1am. I was so exhausted...the neighbours must wonder what i do to the poor child. With ciku they hardly knew that there was a young baby in the house. This boy makes it known that he's in the house and that he's KING!

Im tired.

Been watching tons of TV including all those birthing stories. Saw a woman get an epidural and all the tools they use for a C-section. I am sooooo thankful that i've never had to resort to those things so far cos i was absolutely petrified by what i saw!!!! Scary, scary stuff.

Im also bored out of my mind. I have another month left before i go back to work and i wish i could go shopping n check stuff out, bt it's a hassle to do so with a young baby & i do not want to subject him to the germs that are out there. He has only had one shot, so those are things i worry about. *sigh*

Peanut's in the house!

My kids like to surprise their parents and the world. Peanut arrived just as i was sighing with relief that i hit week 37 without a hitch, which meant that i had a full term baby. The day was marked with bouts of false labour (i think) which felt like period cramps. I remember telling m that my bits felt funny (couldnt share that on FB or anyone that day), and at night i had the same sort of sensations.

Hubs, ciku and i got home at 9.30pm where i was still having weird crampy feelings. At 11.30pm thats when the cramps got more intense and i was timing them. They were 5mins in between, bt my water hadnt broken and i had no show. Hubs called the hospital to ask whether i should come in or not and they said that it was up to us. That to me meant that nothing serious was going on, so we waited it out. I went to the bathroom to do a #2 like a million times or smthng, not realizing that my system was cleaning itself out for the biggest event of the year! By 12am+ i was having super crazy painful cramps which scared the bejeebers out of ciku. The poor dear was wondering wut kinda sakit perut her mummy was having. I told hubs that we had to go to hospital. Called my parents to come and get ciku. We left the house at 1.30am. I was a crazy woman in the car...i was breathing heavily, groaning, and at the final roundabout close to hosp my water broke. Hubs drove me to emergency where they wheeled me off to the labour ward.

I couldnt really communicate at that point, i guess i was in the final stages of labour then. The midwife or whoever it was tried to get me to change into the hospital gown, but i was like, nah-ah! I lay on the bed, they put the oxygen/gas mask on me and tried to delay my pushing the baby out. It seems that the baby was distressed. The gas really helped to calm me down and and 16mins later i gave birth to Peanut. It was so much easier than with ciku, though. My body worked with me this time, instead of against me...my body was bearing down and it was basically on auto pilot. with ciku all my body did was to be full dilated. Alhamdulillah that i've so far been granted fairly fast deliveries.

Things happened so fast that hubby left my handbag in the house, so there were no first pics of my little baby :( Not only that, my appointment card and moolah were also not on us, so he had to go home around 2am+ and he came back around 4.

I had to wait a really long time for Peanut to be sent to me. I think he only came at around 10am that morning or so. I couldnt sleep until i saw him again, as much as i should have rested. The head nurse in the nursery recognized us and made a comment to how quick i had the second one. The age gap's 2yrs 3 months, so it's not too small a gap, me thinks.

Everything was fast this time around, baby and i were discharged after 1 day, so there went enjoying the great hospital food.

Once we were home everything was a mess cos we hadn't planned for an early delivery & the mid wife came on Monday night. Having the mid wife around was strange. Im not used to strangers staying in with me, but we adjusted for 2 weeks. Mak Jang fed me and took care of the baby. I found it hard to let go cos i was so used to taking care of my own baby the first time around, bt after a while it was nice not to have to do certain things (like cleaning poop).

Preps

I've packed my overnight bag! All my stuff is in a very uncool shoulder bag...hope i have everything cos i seem to have forgotten the things i used the first time around. Im also looking forward to the confinement lady. Spoke to her yesterday and she sounded really nice...i guess hearing her kedah accent was comforting too for some reason.

3-4 weeks to go and there's still stuff that needs to be purchased. Hubs has to work this weekend which throws a damper on all the plans we've had, including buying a new bed for the downstairs room for confinement lady/maid. We havent even had the handy man over to install water heater upstairs and to fix stuff up! How?? MIL reminded me how it was so last minute the first time around (ciku came almost 2 weeks early and everyone had to chip in to get the house in order before the Queen and her baby came home). While we're at it, i guess we should have pest control over too...sigh.

Gawd...is it the nasi lemak that's making my eyes go blurry n want to shut?? If yes, im going to stick to having cereal every single morning!!

Quickies

Im on week 36 with the bubba, and i think i've been going on n on about how i havent put on so much weight this time around etc, but something's changed!!! Since last month, i've been putting on 3kg a month!!!! Im massive and i feel Ugh Lee. Caught hubs looking at me the other day...not sure wut he was seeing...

So, baby's 2.25kg right now and looking like he's doing fine. I pray that i'll have a regular delivery and that my baby is healthy. Amin.

Another thing to worry bout now is how to help my toddler adjust to changes. Already she's reclaimed her cot, blankets, baby toys and the playpen. Im reading the Gina Ford book (contented toddler and baby) and it sounds pretty complicated (one must set routines to be followed etc). Some people dont even prepare, so i dont know how far im gng to go with following Gina Ford's tips. Im so bad with routine...maybe it's cos im a bumbum. Another thing, it sounds like it's really hard to manage 2 kids!!!

Spartan Raya

There will be no kampung raya for us this year due to several factors. My mood's fluctuated from moping to wanting to make raya work for ciku. This would be her first raya where she really is a little person who can understand stuff, so i want it to be meaningful for her.

For those who know me, they'd know just how important balik kpg is. It's never about me, bt about making the lonely old folks up north happy. They wait all year for ppl to go back, and with them being aged, we just dont know how long they'll be around for.

Raya morning for me every year had been about rushing to go off for Raya prayers. We'd head out to Masjid Al Bukhary (after my tok passed away, we stopped going to masjid Dakwah). The cemetery where my grandparents are buried is within the mosque grounds, so we'd head over there to recite some doas after. The mosque and the cemetery have been designed really well, and it's clean with places to wash your feet when you're done.

After thats done, we'd head to my father's side where breakfast would be served. Traditionally, there was ketupat with kuah kacang and perut, and ketupat palas to be eaten with rendang. I'd normally change from baju kurung into something fancier and we'd have the beraya ceremony with everyone in the living room and a photo session.

As soon as thats done, my mother and i would race off to her side of the family which is a street away. Things are less structured there, but my tok chik n chu need a lot of help with preparations so that's what we'd do. They live in a beautiful traditional 1/2 brick, 1/2 wood house which has been a symbol of home to me for as long as i can remember. Lots of relos normally make their way to this house, which is why i love being there.

I wonder what will happen to this home once my grandaunties pass...i dread the day the house will become empty, cos it's never ever been empty! My great grandparents built the house and lived in it with their 8 children and helpers. The house used to be a bustling paradise with every child having a role to play. My tok was a princess, so she didnt cook all that much bt her speciality was fruit acar. Chu handled finances, chik cooked the main meals and tok ndak made the kuihs for tea and did the shopping. She used to always take a beca.

Those were the good old days. Now the house only has 3 occupants - Abang, Cik n Chu. I hope i'll get to see them after i deliver...

So for now im gng to have to figure out how to make this KL raya work. Wish me luck!

Ciku, 25months, 3wks

So the little girl with fabulous eating habits is now turning into a willful 2 year old who will spit out her carrots, chicken and whatever else she doesnt feel like chewing! She's also turned away from her morning breakfast of wholesome oats! I dont know what she had this morning, but i know that yesterday morning her breakfast was a bread and cheese toastie.

Some recent gems:

• Ciku was shown a pix of her and another 2 yr old, with the difference being that the other kid is 1 head shorter than she is.
  

ciku: "baby!!"

Daddy: "No, that's not a baby, that little boy is your age."

ciku: "how old?"

• Ciku saw dad wearing a hat in house before leaving in the morning. By the time they got into car, daddy had taken it off.

ciku: "Daddy, why not wearing hat?"

Quack, Quack

Butt feels huge, and waddling from 1 place to another exhausts me! I was out of breath just walking up the stairs!! Am i unfit, overweight, wuts going on??

These days im also a walking zombie. The office is on a warpath with anyone that comes to work late, so i've been dutifully dragging myself out of bed, having a 3min shower, getting dressed in 2mins, feeding the cats, and saying bye to my dear ciku (this alone can be a 10min affair). By the time i reach work, im blearry eyed and starving cos i dont have time to fix myself breakie.

Ciku's also pushing all our buttons. Im pretty sure she senses that her life's going to be upside down pretty soon, so there are lots of tears for lots of petty reasons. It's just not in me to raise my voice or be abusive, so i try to talk her through her issues or distract her.

Last night Oma introduced her to painting and she was so happy about it that she was willing to stay over at Oma's for the night.
Daddy: Bye ciku, mummy and daddy are going home now.
Ciku: Bye mummy, daddy. Miya paint!

She was SO upset about having to stop the activity that she cried and even hit daddy (thats a rarity, me thinks).

Hopefully we'll get to paint this weekend. She's also showing promise as a sportswoman, playing tennis with her masak-masak set pans and an imaginary ball.

As for baby B, he's been very active, and sometimes i think i feel his heartbeat when i put my palm to my tummy. Hubby n i seem to have found a name for him, but we'll see...Nowadays we talk to ciku a lot about her adik, and she seems to be able to understand. I hope adik wont bully his kakak.

My weekend summarized

Baby B - The ultrasound shows him to be a healthy baby, growing at the rate that he should be, though it's starting to look a little cramped where he lives. I've put on 2.2kg!! woohoooo!!! The extra durian consumption etc havent made much of a dent on my weight! We viewed him from a couple of angles, and this time around, his nose looks a little round, like ciku's...hahahaha...i really wonder what he'll look like.

On Sunday i got to have a glorious and well deserved nap! We had a long day, which for me started at 7.48 to pop laundry into the machine and to go grocery shopping with mumsy. Got back and we were heading out to visit family friends who came in from Singapore. By the end of that rendezvous i was soo tired, and totally grateful to mumsy for letting me sleep for 2 hours!

As for Gramps, he knows im not a friend anymore. I spray him with water to keep him at bay, so he knows his place.

Bought a book im looking forward to reading - The golden notebook by Doris Lessing. Looking forward to reading it after The End of the Affair by Graham Greene. Having trouble reading that book before bed cos ciku's so distracting!! It's one of those books that has meaning in like every single line and i really want to pay attention! Will i be reduced to fluff as my bedtime book?

Money - it's slipping through my fingers like sand. We're supposed to save up for the hospital bill, a maid and a confinement lady! I hope it'll work itself out. Amin.

Gramps

Gramps bit my foot yesterday for the first time ever after i had put food into his bowl. That cat's one arrogant fool, and i just dont get it. We feed him with caution cos he has this thing, where once food's put into his yellow bowl, he'll take a swipe at you. I've fed him enough to know his next moves and have managed to avoid them, but yesterday was different. I wasnt paying any attention when i felt pain on my foot. Looking down, i saw Gramps taking a bite out of my foot!! In return i hit him on the head with a cat plate. I didnt feed him this morning...(i guess hubs would)...how do you teach a stray to be grateful?

Tomorrow's my checkup. Hope everything's ok cos im still small as everyone says. Ciku did a great job of massaging vitamin e on my tummy last night. She even spoke to the bump! Oh, and an update on her, on Weds, that girl counted to 13!

Week 26 - Baby B & Ciku updates

It seems that im losing my knees to water retention 8 weeks earlier than i did with ciku!! My feet are getting bigger and they arent fitting into the crocs anymore. Last night wore Hub's slippers to my parents' and ciku cried unhappily that, "Mummy wear daddy's shoes!".

Oh, and i look preggers now, like the hidung kembang bit n all. It sucks, but what to do...

Ciku's been acting up as well, i dont know what's going on, whether it's the terrible 2s or the impending baby, but she's fierce! She's now a screamer, squealer, thrower etc, and im getting so tired that i let her get away with making a mess. I cant wait for Hub's work schedule to get back on track cos i think this is the 2nd or 3rd week that i've been handling Ciku on my own at night, and im just soooo exhausted.

The mess she gets up to:
1) playing with cat food whilst using her masak2 toys.
2) preventing luna and wiley from eating.
3) removing all her barbie stickers from her notebook and sticking them on the floor or dinning table.
4) removing all her flashcards from the box n throwing them around.
5) grabbing books from the bookshelf, and stacking them on the upside down stool.

She's also blew me away the other night, cos after dropping 1 segment of her beloved mangosteen on the floor, as the next one was offered her, she said, "Mummy don't drop. On the floor, yucky yucky!".

We're also really lucky that she isnt a picky eater, cos she eats just about anything. Last weekend i accidentally made her risotto with tomatoes and squid. She loved it so much that she ate n ate until she had "stomach ache" (was stuffed). She's adventurous with food and loves her leafy veg. Anything green is a friend, Alhamdulillah.

My 2cents...

So i finally get to see the video that landed NI into jail, and all i can say is, Luna & Ariel dont disappoint even without any clothes on. They're both beautiful creatures enjoying some excercise in the comfort of their hotel room. I personally dont see it as a crime. An errosion of moral values, sure, but what two people do in private is really nobody's business. Yes, they've supposedly led their fans down with these vids etc, bt they were made for private viewing. Behind closed doors, a celebrity does not owe society anything. Ariel's an artist, judge him by what he does on stage, and not his personal life. That goes for LM too, who's purported to be in jail.